Things I Wrongly Believed About Healing (That Were Making Me Sick)

Propaganda I'm No Longer Falling For: The Wellness Edition

Hiiii, Substack fam. As a girly who spent all of her teens, all of her 20s, and most of her earliest 30s healing, I feel I am very qualified to speak on this topic. And while I will always be healing in some form or another (because there are parts of it I kinda love), I’ve also learned a few hundred things or two and I wanna share those with you today.

Which brings me to, *drum roll please*…

Propaganda I’m no longer falling for: the wellness edition.

I know you guys have seen the ~propaganda~ trend floating around IG & TikTok; in fact the trend has long come and gone in the social media sphere. But maybe the fact that it was so extremely popular for so many months means it’s tapped into something deep in our collective psyche that’s worth exploring?

People are so sick and tired of seeing ‘wellness trends you need to be following’ to lose weight, to be happy, to heal, to change your life, to meet your man, to get a six pack, to land your dream job, to manifest the ideal life that you of course are not yet living, on and on and on and ONNNN.

By that I mean—the propaganda is loud. And wild. And plentiful. If you open any social media app on the internet, you will be inundated.

Think: ‘eggs are the most healing food on the planet,’ followed by ‘25 reasons to avoid eggs at all costs.’

Think: ‘Microdosing mushrooms will heal every problem you’ve ever had,’ followed by, ‘psychedelics ruined my life.’

Think: ‘Veganism healed me inside & out and I am a new woman!!!!’ followed by, ‘if you don’t go carnivore TODAY you will d!e.’

K maybe I’m being a little overdramatic with some of them, but you know the vibe. Everyone who’s anyone thinks they have cracked THE code. The code of all codes of all codes, to finally feel and live as your best self. As such, the healing & wellness world (especially within the influencer realm of it all) has turned into a straight up propaganda machine… even for the people who have the absolute best intentions.

The solve? Create your own rules. Easily be able to say no to the shit that simply doesn’t work for you or pique your interest. Write your own list of propaganda, and tape it above your desk. Know that what worked for Sabrina in Indiana with the stick thin body type very likely will not work for you, unless you see yourself in her energy in some other way. And of course, remain inspired by people who inspire you! But always know and remember who you are in the process.

So let’s break it down. When I first started blogging about wellness in 2013, people had no idea what a blog was. Certainly they did not know what an ‘influencer’ was. We created a new category of work and an entirely new industry. I’m talking both about influencers in general, and specifically wellness influencers. There were like 20 of us, so we all knew each other.

Wellness was still so niche back then, so there was no such thing as ‘Instagram experts’ flooding your feed with—well—propaganda disguised as wellnesss. Everyone was in it for the sheer passion and enjoyment of actually spreading the good word of making people feel better (except for the infamous Belle Gibson…eep).

Back then, we all know I was vegan. That was my entire brand and lifestyle. And while I have come a long way from my vegan days, I love what they were rooted in: the desire to live simply, eat simply, and heal my body on my own accord rather than relying on doctors/medical professionals who never understood me and were never able to heal me.

OMG this pic that I posted to my personal account in 2013 to ask my IRL friends to follow me!!! WOW!

Now I am still the wellness guinea pig of all guinea pigs, but I believe what sets me apart (at least I hope) is that I don’t expect what works for me to work for everyone. In fact, I’d be shocked if it did. I want you to take what you learn from me, and use it to inform you about what works for you intuitively, deep within, in your own individual and authentic way that in no way will look like my journey.

Because we are all so wildly different and that’s the beauty, ya know?

So with that, let’s get into the things I believed about healing that were actually making me sick. Otherwise known as propaganda I’m no longer falling for: the wellness edition.

Propaganda I’m No Longer Falling For:

1. You have to cut people out of your life right & left, and anyone who triggers you or you have a disagreement with is “toxic.” I’m all for boundaries, but in some circles (especially with the online wellness / life coaching crowd) boundaries have seemed to replace the need for basic human conflict & direct conversations. Not everyone who frustrates you is toxic. You can have a bad experience with someone, and not have it erase 10 years of friendship. Sometimes we need to remember that a relationship can withstand a few minutes of discomfort, and still go on.

   Sometimes relationships need space, not exile. Instagram therapy-speak has turned conflict into pathology (i.e. “cut them out of your life babe and they don’t deserve an explanation.” I’m sorry, WHAT? No no no)—while I believe that real healing includes nuance, repair, and grace. True healing is so much more mature than that approach. And of course, you can still have boundaries and non-negotiables, and you should! But don’t fall for the therapy speak disguised as healing yourself… that’s just called having walls.

2. Healing means never getting triggered again. Nope, that’s just called spiritual bypassing. We all know the person who uses the mask of, “I love everyone and nothing can ruffle my feathers because I exude light and love with every breath,” but inside they’re dying because they are denying a huge part of who they actually are. I have seen soooo much of the wellness world (and the spiritual world, especially) embody this unique form of spiritual bypassing in an effort to appear/feel like the golden human.

   Spoiler… it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person because you get triggered and because things hurt you. It means you’re a truthful person, willing to feel it all. And when you do feel it all, process it and allow it to move through you, your nervous system starts to feel safer and safer. This is a person who is not lying to themselves, which is the ultimate wellness flex. Be triggered, work through it, and grow as a person. In other words… don’t lie to yourself, and don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

3. Body positivity = the pinnacle of health. Okay this one might be controversial… but I’ve been around the block with this. I saw the social media landscape shift from “thin-spiration” (toxic) to body positivity (a good thing), to the pendulum swinging to extreme body positivity (think girls grabbing their stomachs on Instagram and shaking them aggressively with ‘f!ck the patriarchy’ vibes to get views) and back again. Any extreme is just that: an extreme. Of COURSE all bodies deserve love and respect—and we should love ourselves at any size, in any season of life, and have so much compassion for where we are. But that doesn’t mean every body is well.

   I’ve learned to love myself while still being honest about what’s actually healing and what’s harming. I can be kind to my body and work toward feeling better in it. When I’m inflamed and 10-15 lbs heavier than where I feel my best, I have to be honest with myself about how that feels. Taking aesthetics out of it, I always want to feel truly well. It helps my chronic illness systems to release inflammation, puffiness, and yes—weight. And that doesn’t make me bad or wrong or falling for the ‘thin propaganda,’ it makes me intuitive for what feels good in my body. I believe that listening to those internal cues are the ultimate form of respect for ourselves, and the ultimate form of healing.

4. Spiritual awakening = isolation, raw veganism, losing friends, and not having fun. My spiritual awakening made me more playful. More embodied. More real. And my circle only got bigger!! Yes, it broke me open and it was incredibly hard. It led me to losing a lot of people, but not without gaining even more soul-aligned friendships. You don’t have to heal in isolation—in fact, it’s beautiful to heal in community. And we all have those communities waiting for us. And yes there will be moments where it really isn’t fun… but it doesn’t mean you’ll never have fun (or be fun!) again. Either way, it led me home to myself.

5. A dietary label has to be extreme in order for it to move the needle. Oh my goodness guys… I have tried everything. And again, not in the name of being on a “diet,” but in the name of actual healing from chronic illness and autoimmune conditions. I’ve tried it all, from veganism to raw veganism to carnivore to hardcore keto to water fasting (that was for healing, and it actually worked) to everythinnnng in between. Once I determined that veganism wasn’t the way, I felt that the opposite must be the way. And honestly, a lot of those approaches are way too hard on our bodies. We’re meant to be somewhere in the middle. I love eating a more protein-rich diet, but I have actually leaned back into being more plant-based lately and that feels really good. And I’m sure I will shift again and again! Be open to changing & let go of the rigidity.

6. You must isolate from anyone who doesn’t “get” it. This is similar to #1, but still deserves to be on the list. Some people won’t get it. In my case, 99% of people will never get it lol and that’s okay. Life isn’t meant to be lived in a vacuum of only people who say the right things, lift you up in the exact moments you need it most, understand you to your core and back every single of of your decisions, and believe what you believe. Some of the most healing moments I’ve had were with people who are truly opposite from me and who I live, who have reminded me how to just be human

   

7. You’ll know you’re healed when you feel amazing all the time. Something that seems to confuse a lot of people in my audience is that I both consider myself healed, and I still struggle. I still get tired, but I know it’s not the same level of chronic fatigue I once had. I still get extremely anxious, and sometimes I panic. I still have post-Lyme symptoms, but I don’t relate anymore to actively having Lyme. Some days I’m sad about how hard it can still be, and some days I’m happy about how far I’ve come. I feel it all, AND I know how far I’ve come. I no longer let it collapse me or ruin the entire week/month/year. That’s improvement, and improvement is healing.

8. You can’t get better until you detox everything, and healing is a full-time job. I’ve gone totally off grid, immersed myself on vision quests in Bali, drank only water (no food), and coffee enema’d myself into oblivion. And it HELPED, a lot. It was a beautiful season. It was the season where I learned to truly love myself and became my own best friend. But equally important; I’ve also healed through rest, through tears, through parties, through marriage, through motherhood, through dancing until 2 a.m., through joy. Through rewriting the belief that healing has to be a battle. You’re allowed to have fun AND heal.

9. You need a diagnosis to validate your experience. I’ll never forget the day I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. It was the most validating (yet scary and awful, but also the most hopeful) day of my life. And for years, I clung to that diagnosis for dear life. I identified with it heavily—I felt I needed it to enter the room before I did, because it would serve to explain why I felt so unbelievably terrible all the time. It would explain my appearance and my panic attacks, my lack of energy and my misery… it would explain it all. But at the same time, I’ve lived through symptoms no test, label, or diagnosis could explain— and I’ve healed things no lab could ever even begin to measure. So much of healing is invisible, just like so many symptoms are invisible. AND the more you are able to disconnect from a diagnosis, the better because then you’re no longer identifying with it!

10. Healing means becoming someone new. Okay so this is two-fold, because it’s true that I do not recognize who I once was, and I have changed so much. I like to say I am “Jordan 7.0” these days—the new new new new. But if I am being totally honest, healing is remembering who I’ve always been; underneath the fear, the survival mechanisms, the should’s, the pain, the shame, the heartache. My real self was never lost. Just buried. And finding her again has been the most healing thing in the world.

11. You should be able to heal yourself without help. No, in reality there is something all of us HSP, chronically healing girlies have in common: and that’s almost always some version of complex early childhood trauma, people pleasing, being Type A perfectionists, dysregulated nervous systems, social anxiety, years of panic, the list goes on. So yeah… we need HELP and that’s okay!! Whether it be therapy or ayahuasca, a doctor or a medium, or your higher self coming to swoop in and give you the deepest of all intuitive downloads—help is not just okay to get, it’s needed.

12. Heal your mindset, heal your body. I mean, there is a lot of truth to this… this is actually what my book is about, which I can’t wait to share with you guys. But at the same time, it’s not all mindset. And believing that it is, is a massive detriment to your body and the rest of your healing. Mindset is real, very real. But so is mold. So is trauma. So is your environment. So are your relationships. If you’re gaslighting yourself with “I just need to think more positively,” it’s time to zoom out.

13. Clean girl aesthetic is the way. No, I am interested in messy girl aesthetic. Not all iced matcha pics with Adanola socks in the crispest lighting and gorgeous luscious locks flying in the Nantucket Seabreeze. (I mean, that’s also the dream let’s be real lolol) but I want to see your MESSY moments. The moments crying in bed, the moments your kids have terrorized the living room, the moment you missed your flight because you overslept—and to remember, that in all of those moments, you’re still healing. You’re embracing your rawest, realest YOU. And that is the beauty of all beauties.

So with that, I’d love your thoughts. Who relates? Who has also been on this train? What am I missing from this list? Tell meeee & let’s all inspire each other in the comments below!